A Note to Mama

Dear mama,

I know I've been hurt you as much as I love you, but for this time would you please be a friend to me? Not to reproach my words either give me suggest but just listen to them carefull.. Ma, I really wanna share it to you.

Mama,

Have you ever felt afraid of losing your youth because sooner you'll be a baby keeper?

Well, I have. And I guess surely, you haven't, because you stayed with your best girlfriends out of town when you were the same old with me. And you got no baby to keep.

Have you ever thought that you need to have fun when you were young before you're getting older?

Well, I have and, yea, you haven't because you were too busy with your calculus exercises at engineering faculty when you were the same old with me.

Mama,

Just because I betrayed your trust in the past doesn't mean I will be a horrible harlot at the end. I confess that I made you upset but, from now on can't you see it clearly that I gradually pay it back?

Mama,

I do not make my self any worse. I study greatly, I compete better, I won some competition at the university, I get the scholarship, I went out of city as a representative from the university, I fix my devotions, I stay at this town and go to the school I never wanted to go, learning a lot of knowledges I am not interesting at, but I keep  doing my best. They are not enough, are they?

Mama,

All I want is a little space for me to respire and relax my stubborn at the arm in the middle of the night. Honestly, mama, I'm totally different with you, papa, brotha, sister who do not like the night air. I love the night, ma because I'm sick of blue skies, daylight and the sun. But you told me to grateful of them because they are the biggest energy that the Lord gave. Once again, I've tried to love these, but, mama I've fallen for the night and dark skies and the stars and the moon. Will you forgive me?

Mama,

I want my youth completely done here. I love to stay late. I used to drive home alone. I don't care what people say, ma. They judge folly. It is the time, ma. Time to realize that your little girl is growing up. Time to face her mature and appreciate her mind.

Mama,

I know you've been crying a lot for your children. I'm not going to blame you or anyone else. I just need you to know my unspoken words.

Mama, mama, mama

Will you hear?